Goals of Misbehavior

by Dreikurs, R. (1958). The challenge of parenthood. New York: Duell, Sloan and Pearce.

 

This book was written by Dreikurs in hopes to enlighten parents on the understanding of how parents and families impact children’s internal motives. Specifically, he identified motivations underlying a child’s behavior and the child’s reasons to misbehave. These are known as the four goals of misbehavior: attention-getting, striving for power, taking revenge, and displaying inadequacy.

 

Chapter Six – Understanding the Child

You cannot help your child unless you understand them.

 

Attention Getting

Children merely try very hard to display their “goodness” to gain praise and recognition.  Often enough when “goodness” is not recognized; the behavior turns to or is considered “bad”.  Parents should try not to be drawn in by a conflict or “bad” behavior.  Rather acknowledge the behavior at attention getting. 

Some forms of attention getting are: showing off, vanity, bashfulness, being untidy, lack of concentration, self indulgence, anxiety and fear, eating difficulties and speech impediments.

Striving for Power

Whenever the child’s efforts to gain social status by attracting attention fail, a new phase of social relationships begins.  In most instances, it becomes a struggle for power.  The child challenges your power and tries to make himself a potent force within the group.  When other methods of trying to be a part of the social group fail, the contest for power looms as the next attempt for social recognition.

Some forms of striving for power are: disobedience, stubbornness, temper tantrums, bad habits (thumb-sucking, nose picking & nail-biting), lying, and dawdling.

Taking Revenge

The child who feels unfairly treated and defeated in the struggle for power will want to get even with the parents for what he thinks they have done to him.  There are several methods a child will use unconsciously to punish or “get back” at the parent.  The methods can be very destructive and often provoke anger in both the child and the parent.

Some forms of taking revenge are: stealing, violence and brutality, bed-wetting.

Displaying Inadequacy

Children are discouraged because they fear or feel that they cannot accomplish things or tasks.  As a result children will avoid doing certain activities, make up excuses or hide their inadequacy.

Some forms of displaying inadequacy are: refuses to cooperate, stupidity, passive violence and giving up.